When it comes to business, I still find myself struggling with the perfectionist mindset. Which makes it easy to stay consistent and to constantly learn and grow. Failure is information, rather than a reflection of myself. This means that, when I’m trying a new sport or when I’m working out, I don’t make a ‘bad’ attempt or slow progress mean that I’m not good enough. I believe that sporting talent and skill are cultivated with practice and repetition. I don’t believe that people are naturally ‘good’ or ‘bad’ at sport and fitness. The second part of understanding perfectionism is to become aware of the areas of your life that perfectionism controls, as it’s highly likely that you’re not a perfectionist in all areas!įor example, I don’t have a perfectionist mindset when it comes to sport and fitness. I highly recommend meditation as a way to begin to do this (especially using Headspace, as I find this concept is explained so well) or using a technique of ‘noting’ which I talk about in this blog post. To observe them and see that they are your current interpretation of reality, rather than reality itself. And thoughts will often feel like facts because we’ve had a thought so many times! But I think part of overcoming perfectionism is learning to detach your self-image and self-worth from your thoughts. I know that it can be hard to separate our thoughts about our life from the facts about our life.
And my thought patterns can be changed if I’m willing to do the work (it requires quite a bit of effort to create new neural pathways, but it can definitely be done). Perfectionism is a mindset (thoughts) and I am not my thoughts. Even though I often use the label ‘perfectionist’, it’s not me. The first part of understanding perfectionism is to become aware that perfectionism is a mindset. Understanding perfectionism is extremely important – you can’t overcome perfectionism unless you know what it is! I’ve already shared a bit about perfectionism above, but there are a few things that go into understanding what perfectionism looks like for you. And I also work on managing my reaction to fear, for whenever the fear bubbles up! And I’m going to be talking more about how I do that in this blog post.īut just so you know, some of the symptoms of perfectionism are procrastination, people-pleasing, insanely high standards, abandoning imperfect habits and goals and fear of putting in effort into anything that might not work out (because effort is taken as a sign of inadequacy) – to name just a few! UNDERSTAND THAT PERFECTIONISM IS A MINDSET First of all, I try to change the thoughts that create the fear and the story I’ve told myself about how people will react to the real me.
I don’t know that fear will ever completely go away, so what I’m working on doing is two-fold. The cause of perfectionism is both fear (fear of judgement, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of being alone) and our reaction to that fear. I always want to keep my advice around perfectionism as helpful as I possibly can, so I’m going to be focusing on the cause of perfectionism, rather than the symptoms.
But what’s much more effective is getting to the root of perfectionism.
#A pathological fear of rejection and perfectionism how to#
When you sign up for the challenge you’ll get instant access to 7 lessons and a 16-page printable workbook that will help you apply everything that I talk about in this blog post! Just click the button below to get the deets and then let’s get into it!Ī lot of what I read about perfectionism is focused on how to handle the symptoms (and I’ve written some of these kinds of posts myself). So I thought I’d put this post together to share the things that have helped me the most! MY 7-DAY PERFECTIONISM CHALLENGEĪnd I also just want to quickly mention here that I’ve created a 7-day challenge called Get Out Of Your Own Way to help you reach your true potential. I think part of the reason is because I don’t feel as though I’ve quite overcome it myself – and I’d hate to write a blog post about how to do something I haven’t actually done! But in the last few months, I feel as though I’ve made significant process. I’ve written a lot about perfectionism before, but I’ve never explicitly shared my tips on ‘overcoming’ perfectionism.
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